peterpaulwisdom:

Still as close to her as he could manage he smiles at her faint laugh, knowing the familiar hollowness but unable to deny the sliver of happiness that sparkled behind it. It was a sound he was skilled at deciphering, that if you weren’t well versed in the art and complexity that made up this woman as a whole you’d more than likely miss it. But not Pete, oh no, he knew every bit of this one. He knew her insecurities inside and out and the way they would eat her alive, the way he couldn’t possibly try to fix them lest he simply let her know she was important. Which is why he simply shook his head at her comments filled with a subtle sense of self-loathing and still living on the belief that she wasn’t, never had been, and never would be good enough for anyone. But he carries on with their heart wrenching chat if one could be so blatant as to call it that, fingers shifting south to toy with the fabric covering her torso before idly running his thumb against the faint jutting of bone he could recall kissing on numerous occasions “Luv. You needa drop that bloody train of thought. Were perfect with all your flaws. Still are. Jus’ a bit.” He tries to mask the compliment with a failed attempt at nonchalance, weighing up his options carefully as she held him oh so close.

He loved the way they always managed to fit so effortlessly regardless of their anger or their uncertainty even as the air lingered with a tension they knew all too well. His impulsivity and her lack of control was an explosive combination, one that had ended them up in awful situations on more occasions than they could count. She was a tiny little powder keg and he the very embodiment of fire and heat and no amount of water could manage to douse the flame they’d constantly leave lit. But they adapted regardless, running with their tendency to get walked in on and, in Pete’s case, cop a black eye and a busted lip before retiring and repeating the dangerous cycle once more. He knew her all too well, knew that with what she was saying there was plenty she was not and that guessing was the most he would figure out if he wanted this to go anywhere.

There was no helping the way his lips moved and the urge he had to drag her closer, to kiss her everywhere his lips and busted frame would allow. There was no way he could push this too far without physically harming himself but if even a brief moment he could feel even remotely close to what they had he’d give as much a shot “still do, Kitten.” His words were hopefully lost against the crook of her neck as he kissed further, this stupid boy still completely enamoured with his brunette bub regardless of how much she probably hated him right now. Maybe it would have been easier if she had of and maybe he would have assumed as much if that subtle moan hadn’t echoed through his head, ignoring how hot he’d instantly grown before just barely managing to exhale against her skin before blues met brown and everything shed kept hidden was brought to the surface. Try as she might, he could read her that way.

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He speaks with an uncertain air as though he’d already made his mind up on the decision and the faint sting from her finger on bruised flesh just barely resisted a hiss as he faintly presses into the palm of her hand. He’d glance at her face for a brief moment longer and judging on the almost half-lidded expression and the way shed watch him so carefully he’d throw any further cares to the wind, inching forwards through pain and through the clouded train of thought to softly press his lips into her own as fingers wound idly into her wild hair. He figured she would probably swat and chastise him afterwards but she was always so soft, a sensation that he’d missed far too much as he lingered further before placing a bite much similar to the ebbing pain in his own skin. He would focus on the pace of her breath as the shift was made with kisses further along her jaw, ignoring how wrong it was to implement all those little things he knew made her weak at the knees as he shifted his free hand south and rested it idly along the backs of her thighs.

In the back of his mind it was his own kind of revenge, knowing they couldn’t push this as far as he’d like and maybe that was it, leaving her with that longing need as he was forced to turn and leave the following morning. He knew as well as she did how well they fit together, how to make her shiver even in the most pubic of places. And perhaps that’s why his fingers coiled softly into her smooth skin and his teeth nipped in much the same way, tugging on her earlobe and exhaling ever so slightly before leaving a single, purple bruise directly below, tarnishing her skin with a mark that would linger longer than he and allow her something to focus on afterwards while stewing in her state of guilt and uncertainty. Part of him had the feeling they’d cross paths again in the future and it wasn’t exactly something they could avoid.

For now he would bite back the urge to request she sleep beside him, lips still against her skin as he offered a nod, fingers still brushing idly before his heated breath ghosted ‘pon her skin “Whatever you want, Luv. Your house.” He withdraws to kiss her lips once more regardless of how much regret he’d feel pooling once his eyes met her face, his nose brushing softly in their usual means of eskimo kisses he’d always place when she was grumpy until that smile came back.

        “…gonna need help gettin’ there. Dunno if I can walk.”

      Despite it being a compliment she didn’t deserve, despite the way he’d waver in the way he always did responding with only uncertain answers in the face of a truth he’d rather not face, despite the bloody mess she’d made of him, despite all he was her arms wrapped around him and her lips pressed into the top of his head and she smiled a smile hidden away by wisps of hair she’d already ruined. Perfect was a stretch. Maybe was a more accurate way to put it but he’d never seen that. Not until the end at least; he’d seen something in her that was beyond her imagination, her comprehension. Someone mythical and good and worth defecting for. She’d never forget he left Black Air for her, joined the good guys for her and even after he left stayed there because it was where he belonged. At first she fancied it was because she was a good kisser but here and now cradling him in her lap while his lips reached wherever they could go she fully realized the extent to which he admired her. The full extent to which his heart bled; a good man covered up by the rust and wear and tear and weight of living. And she was his…well, she was more than his Bond girl, less than the perfect girlfriend.

But still despite the momentary bliss her smile hollowed when he told her he still loved her. A passing statement murmured into the crook of her neck, a prayer he didn’t know how to pray, and still it dug deep into the ground underneath her and took her stable footing only to replace it with empty tunnels they both knew would never be explored. She’d hurt him in the current but back then, back when he left without so much as a warning shot or attempt at conversation or a chance for her to bargain for his love and his loyalty and his hand in hers, he’d hurt her. He’d hurt her when he ‘died’. He hurt her and she wasn’t sure if she could find it in her to love him back right now in the current. She didn’t tell him he hurt her with words but when he kisses her she was stiff and cold in her return and she did nothing but wait for the moment to pass. Before the world folded in on her she would have said it back and she would have stayed and she would have loved him instead of hurting him. “I didn’t like Doug you know. Not like that.” Each word ebbed and flowed with how hard he pressed into her neck as her muscles tensed and her voice settled on a whisper. “He died…and I missed him. I missed him that big. That loud. That…annoyingly. ” She’d have asked him to imagine how his death affected her but it was implied and she simply wasn’t brave enough to be so rude as he made his desperate grabs for affection.

She flinched as his teeth dug in but she did not move away, brunting the blow he chose to strike against her and not finding pleasure no matter how endearing she once found it. Slowly her hands found their way through his hair with tiny waves of her fingers and she sighed. Her vision was trained forward and locked onto the carpet below them even as he moved on to the sweeter things, his nose brushing against her. “I know.” She was kind in her answer. She was kind and unable to face what she’d done when her kindness had been briefly eclipsed by anger. What she’d done was all over her face and she could not bear it even if this might have been her last chance to see just how it was he looked at her with the big blue eyes she loved so much. “And I’m sorry.” 

She was as gently as she could be as she put his arm around her shoulder and rose. Each step was slowed and it felt like years before they finally made it to her bed. Their last years as she unsaddled him on the side of her bed with legs hanging. At the disturbance the slumbering dragon on the pillow next to the one one might safely presume was hers fluttered awake blinking those narrowed slits he called pupils until they were wide and alert and focused on the intruder. He started to growl but stopped with a flare of his nostrils taking in the scent of blood, his eyes wandering to his lion full of curiosity that was hard to read in his reptilian features. Yet all she could offer him in the way of response was a shake of her head, a subtle ‘no’ before she nodded him out of the room and he complied. “Sorry…he usually..his spot you know? I mean he won’t sleep here tonight so don’t worry.”

Her hands idly wove into his and her thumb ran over his knuckles and she thought for a brief moment to sit next to him before she decided it would be brash. For a reason that escaped her finer skills of logic she thought it would be far tamer to lower herself on her knees, her chin on his knees fingers toying at the idea of putting her hands on his thighs and instead hanging on to the fabric of his pants. She was silent for a few minutes, looking up and taking in the sight of what she’d done shame slowly sinking into those sleepy features. She was cautious in the way she reached for his hand and even slower did she wind his fingers into her hair, hoping he’d take innovative but settling for the contact. “I loved you Petey. I don’t want you to leave…” there was a pause as she swallowed past the lump in her throat and shifted her cheek falling to his knees instead as she looked to his wrist.  “…not knowing that. Not again. I loved you. You know that right?”

Nov 17 13:32 ( ♥ 20 )