X-FILES SENTENCES STARTERS

lettucedoathing:

• “How do I get this off me quickly without betraying my cool exterior?”
• “No one would kill you. You’re just a little puppy dog.”
• “Well, hey, I didn’t spend all those years playing Dungeons and Dragons and not learn a little something about courage.”
• “There are hits and there are misses… and then there are misses.”
• “I’m warning you. If this is monkey pee, you’re on your own.”
• “I would never lie; I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation.”
• “I have to admit, that fulfilled one of my boyhood fantasies.”
• “That’s why I like you. Your ideas are even weirder than mine.”
• “No, wait. This is the part where they bring out Elvis.”
• “I could smell you a mile away.“
• “Well, they told me that even though my deodorant is made for a woman, it’s strong enough for a man.”
• “You think they would have taken me more seriously if I wore the grey suit?”
• “If there’s an ice tea in that bag, could be love.”
• “Does this pitch somehow end with a way for me to lower my long distance charges?”
• “Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?”
• “Maybe it was another bald-headed, jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed, naked guy I saw.”
• “It’s not a funhouse, it’s a tabernacle of terror.”
• “I’m exhuming… your potato.”
• “Exactly how does one become a professional blockhead?”
• “Life… is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for.”
• “Sure, fine, whatever.”
• “I wouldn’t want to disappoint you by not disappointing you.”
• “Please explain to me the scientific nature of the ‘whammy’.”
• “If you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you’d lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.”
• “Does your policy cover the acts of extraterrestrials?”
• “Your kung-fu is the best.”
• “Aluminum foil makes a lovely hat, and it blocks out the government’s mind control rays.”
• “Maybe it’ll start raining weenies and marshmallows.”
• “Maybe if it rained sleeping bags, you’ll get lucky.”
• “Not everybody’s dream is to get on Jerry Springer.”
• “Do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten path, the creepier the better?”
• “…and then he sort of flew at me like a flying squirrel.”
• “One more anal-probing gyro-pyro levitating ecoplasm alien anti-matter story and I’m going to take out my gun and shoot somebody.”
• “It’s not ice cream. It’s a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.”
• “I scream, you scream, we all scream for nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicles!”
• “One more pun and I pull out my gun.”

Dec 12 20:06 ( ♥ 2027 )